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Saturday, December 11, 2004

Aku Belum Merdeka

This is a story told to me by a friend of a friend. Don't worry, I'll keep it short.

It was once believed that before a Monarch can receive his kedaulatan (laissez majesty), he must first take a life.

There are Monarchs who ascend to the throne annointed by the blood of their Father-Kings fllowing through their veins (blue-bloods). On that note, soldiers can become kings too. In this case, their annointment is quite literal and direct (Conan the Conqueror comes to mind).

An ancestor of mine once committed regicide. Some of you might have even heard of it. The Sultan Mahmud mangkat dijulang incident. Yup, that's great-great-great-great-great grandpa.

"Raja yang adil, disembah. Raja yang zalim, disanggah".

A hundred or so years after the fact, another ancestor of mine tried to atone for that incident by martyring himself for a descendant of the abovementioned Monarch. 'twas a noble sentiment, great-great grandpa Maharajalela. You score an A for effort. The drawn-and-quartered bit was a tad bit over-dramatic, and having what was left of your corpse being hung upside down from a tree might have been overkill.

Too bad the family is still in the business of serving cucu cicit Sultan Mahmud. Shall we expect you at the wedding, Paternal Uncle R? The kenduri will be held in Ipoh, so you and Paternal Auntie won't have to travel very far.

Lest I be accused of being an elitist bourgeoise wanker (well, maybe just the last bit but only in the literal sense), let me make it clear that I believe a man's worth and opinions should be judged on his deeds alone and not just tumpang glamour with regards to something his forefathers did a kabillion years ago. That said, those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it next semester (back in the day, that meant either having to sit through Mr. Matthew's sarcasm or listening to Mr. Disney recount his days as a yob before he went to Oxford and how he could still knock your teeth out of your arse if he wanted to, don't think he's soft, nosirree).

Confucius, he also say, "Insanity is doing the same things over and over again then expecting different results".

There are times when a soldier can become a good king. Not all the time, though. My maternal uncle once commented, a good soldier must always know two things: (1) how to value human life so he can appreciate the trust given to him by those serving under him and (2) if you want to make an omelette, you have to break a few eggs.

I once read that a sufi is just one who continues the spiritual journey started by his forefather. I think it's a seven generation thing or something to that effect? To be frank, it's all sir al'muttasir (Greek) to me. But as one hippie once said to me, "It's all just stories, beb. God talking to God stuff. God is asleep and we are His nightmares". Interesting note: when Nietszche wrote that book, he might have been referring to this.

"All that we do, is for the good of the Motherland!" such-and-such a man might holler to the roar of quiet applause behind the tinted glass of a room tucked at the back of a private lounge in an unnamed lodging house. But to quote another bud of the BerukBoy, "All this talk of nasionalisme is horse-shit, my friend. In the end, it boils down to cold hard cash. Every man has his price, beb. What's yours?"

No soldier am I, nor king or saint, just a little monkey who knows nuts and mocks to remind.

Maafkan aku sekiranya aku sering
Berlaku Songsang

Terutamanya apabila perayaan tahunan seperti ini

Bila mana mereka sedang duduk
Aku bangun berdiri

Apabila mereka bangun bertepuk
aku tidur

Bila mana mereka sibuk berbincang
aku melayang

Apabila mereka melepaskan merpati
Aku menabur padi

Aku belum Merdeka

Maafkan aku sekiranya aku sering berlaku songsang...
Aku hanya ingin mengingatkan.

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