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Thursday, July 08, 2004

Of Klingon Programmers and Other Sad Excuses For the Nation

Ay yi yi yi yi. Lots to talk about just no time to sit around and shoot the breeze with you kind folks.

And please feel free to use the public comment board on the lower right hand corner of my blog if you think you have something you'd like me to take a look at and comment on.

Heh, quick story. My boss wants me to go pitch some ads we designed for this bank to its parent company. Oh, did I mention they're both in the same building? Scammers, eat your heart out.

Oh, and something funny I found on the net.

Top 10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer

1. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
3. Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
4. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
5. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
7. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
8. Klingon software does NOT have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
9. You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
10. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

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